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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

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The book offers a simple yet powerful technique to help us find inner peace and freedom from mental anguish. As Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem. As we do The Work of Byron Katie, not only do we remain alert to our stressful thoughts—the ones that cause all the anger, sadness, and frustration in our world—but we question them, and through that questioning the thoughts lose their power over us. However, something may be true for us - and there are good reasons why we have any judgment we have. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration.

Both Apple and Google state that they ensure that only users who have actually downloaded the app can submit a review. This was a helpful reminder for me to think about what areas I still have "should" statements in and to explore why. So being an integrated, healthy or sane adult does not mean we just give up what we want because it would be "arguing with reality," as Katie reiterates many times. Okay, my other main disagreement is that the application of the work felt too rationalistic and, again, simplistic to me.It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. The Work" is a new level of introspection that I am now using with great results to work through my own personal problems and with my fabulous clients to help them work through some of their challenges. True nonattachment and acceptance fearlessly admits our humanity and vulnerability, which includes us having wishes that are not fulfilled or are frustrated.

is a very useful question to ask when contemplating what is upsetting us or causing us pain, as long as there's willingness to acknowledge that we may not have all the facts. When the author suggested that the mother needed to accept mediocrity because the world was all about mediocrity, I almost wrecked the car. Stress isn't caused by events or people in your life, but by your interpretation of events or the actions of friends and lovers. The idea of letting go of the things we can't control - other people, many of our thoughts, realizations that we're often our own problem and not the other person - these are good realizations.

The key, in my mind, is to accept that things that "shouldn't" happen sometimes do anyway, that you have no control over other people's choices, and that sometimes that really hurts, and then move on with a determination to try not to hurt others the same way, to ease pain instead of cause it, not to accept that bad things *should* happen because they did. Clearly this is not Byron's intent, but a mass-market paperback in the self-help section is a potentially tragic lure for people who self-treat despite needing the help of a serious professional.

I don't even really 'do' the Work but I ask myself the questions quickly and that in turn has helped me to see that my thoughts are not necessarily reality, and that my feelings are caused by those thoughts. I won the free coaching session with him in the group's raffle, at the end of which, my mind was blown again. I give this book five stars because I think that it is a profound idea that Byron Katie is introducing- especially for those who are tormented with the weight of worry about those people and circumstances around them that they feel as though they have some power to control. So I didn't see this point being affirmed - that there is a necessity to seeking the wisdom to know the difference between what we truly can and cannot change. Often, these questions pop up in my daily trains of thought, and cause me to re examine what I held as truth.There is no source of stress or anxiety that can’t be conquered; all you need to do is approach what stresses you in the correct way. Katie strongly recommends doing The Work by writing out thoughts on paper, to encourage honest response. I'm sure the thousands of people who have experienced life-changing events because of The Work will disagree with me and let me know just where I'm not understanding her approach, but there are other, much better and less problematic sources (go read something by the Dalai Lama, for example) for the good elements in Byron Katie's book. As Katie explains, everything in our lives can be defined as one of three kinds of business: mine, yours and God's.

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